We must, at all costs, become good. That’s what I, poor wretch, try to do. But on the one hand I get worn out, and on the other my illness weighs me down, and I am unable to do anything. Nevertheless, I try. I wish to become better, I wish to worship God with love and yearning, and I dream about it and try my best, but nothing happens. But the thing that gives me joy and satisfaction is that finally I am attempting to love Christ. I haven’t succeeded, but it is something that I desire strongly.